In a euphoric state of dilerium, which sounds extremely fun or like I’m on some “drug enduced high” is merely the price I’m paying for lack of mental health care. The yin yang of, finding everything comedic and utterly depressing I find comfort in the simple routine of OCD behaviour. Now, if evaluated by psych, oh the field day they would have. For today, I choose not to evalute but to dwel in the black abyss I call memories. It’s true, I dream in stories and music is literally everywhere, but some days the stories don’t fit and the music has no meaning. It all becomes “white noise”. Not the eerie type that haunts the subconscious mind, but the kind of silence that bring forth serenity and peace. Like a warm summers day when there’s but a gentle breeze strong enough to disturb everything in it’s passageway yet, ironically peaceful.
It can all sound very romantic, sure if the only intense relationship you have is with an untreated mental health problem. I am so sick of those fake people out there, hiding behind pride and posessions. The ones who are shaming the idea that it is possble for someone to “have it all” while “falling apart”. It’s ok to drive that 80k car but don’t prentend that behind closed doors you’re not mentally broken. You can’t afford your bills, you hate your 9-5 university graduated degree and love life is in shambles. Pretending creates walls, they keep others in the same situation out. Leaving everyone feeling judged, isolated, anxious and depressed.
On that note, I cannot stress enough how big a deal mental health is. I tend to look at myself as one of the lucky ones” since I’m very much intune with my mind, body and soul-on a good day that is. However, not everyone is as lucky. Go speak to your General Practitioner if you feel yourself slipping away. Mental health is a slippery slope and before you know it, you’re in hole.
Mental Health Awareness
🙏✌#throughhopecamestrength ##Ithielbrinkman #empirerise1